Cooking My Way Through Grief

  Donna's daughter, Julia, was one of my best friends in high school and college. Even though she and I drifted apart, her family was still family to me. Sadly, Donna passed away from brain cancer six months after my Dad. One of the things she made that I love and was a part of most family parties is rice & beans. After Donna passed away, her oldest daughter, Donna Marie, showed me how to make rice & beans. Over the years, I have figured out how to split the recipe in half to make it in a 3 cup rice cooker. My brother and sister both loved this recipe. A few years ago, I compiled a recipe box of family recipes and made sure I included this one. Sometimes I will eat this as a stand alone meal or eat it with Taco ring or oven fajitas. Kathy didn't have a rice cooker; she learned how to make rice on the stove, since this is how my Mom made it. I tried making rice in her insta pot, and it was crunchy. I often took my rice cooker with me when I would stay with her, because i...

I love fajitas! I found this recipe on the Budget Bytes website about thirteen years ago. It was the winter that wouldn't end in New Jersey. I cancelled storytime every Wednesday morning for five weeks straight because of a weather event.  When the snow finally started to melt in March, everyone's Christmas decorations were still up outside. I remember being shut in two days before a weekend because of snow, and finding this recipe because I was trying to use up peppers.  This is an easy recipe to prep ahead of time and stick in the fridge for a weeknight dinner. Chop the vegetables, and slice the chicken, storing them in a gallon storage bag in the fridge. Also, I usually make a few of the seasoning cups at a time, so I'm not always measuring out the ingredients. This all cuts the prep time. I use the salad dressing cups from the dollar store and reuse them. Sometimes with colon cancer, you can't eat certain vegetables because they won't digest properly. A good ex...

Mother's Day has been a particularly difficult holiday for me once my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, a year after my Dad passed away.  At 30, most of my friends my age were getting married and starting families. I was trying to meander this new normal, spending an endless amount of time checking on my Mom at night, taking her places, and going to doctors appointments with her and my sister.  Once she was moved into an assisted living facility, she went downhill pretty quickly. When she no longer knew who I was, I made the decision to move out of state.  To top this off, Kathy was six and a half years older than I was and played a mothering role in my life. In ninth grade a kid pulled a knife on the bus because I sat in "his spot." Kathy went to the school, spoke with the principal and got the courtesy busing stop taken off my roof. My senior year of college, sprinklers were being installed in the dorms over winter break and the doors were left open, creating a n...

Kathy was very similar to my father in that her meat of choice was beef.  I don't really remember eating meatloaf or Salisbury steak growing up, but we did have Swedish meatballs on occasion.  As an adult, my sister loved meatloaf and Salisbury steak.  She would often get meatloaf at Cracker Barrel or the Cheesecake Factory. I started making Salisbury steak when I lived in the south and it was one of the things she requested when I would make meals to keep in her freezer when she was undergoing various cancer treatments.  These days it's rare that I get to cook for someone else. This is really due to my tiny apartment, where it's difficult to have another person over without being on top of one another. My dear friend Amy came up for a visit and requested Salisbury steak. I made it in the crockpot to minimize the amount of time I needed to be in the kitchen while she was visiting. This was the first time I've made it in the crockpot and it worked out well. I use Chef...

The one thing I remember the year after Dad passed away, was how quiet my landline was. He would call on every holiday. On Christmas morning, Valentine's Day, Arbor Day, any holiday. He was usually the first person to call on my birthday. That was the year I started hating birthdays. Kathy was similar in that she always sent cards- St. Patrick's Day, Halloween and birthdays. Sometimes she sent more than one birthday card! I knew holidays, especially my birthday would be difficult after Kathy passed, which is why I went away for my birthday.   My brother's birthday is six weeks after mine. The main love language in our family was acts of service. I wasn't exactly sure how he was feeling about his birthday, we always called each other on birthdays, but didn't necessarily see each other for them as adults. Since his birthday was on a Tuesday, and I would be in the area for my $2 Tuesday thrifting at Goodwills in the Lehigh Valley, I thought I would cook and/or bake som...